Chapter Tu

In which we learn of Brandy Dust

A shooting star flashed across the sky! To Vicky, it was vibrant brilliance. But like all brilliance (like Brandy’s brain), it evaporates instantly without leaving a single footprint.

“There! If thou must gettist thy star, and not more different than but equal, I will give my hand in marriage to thou- I’m sorry, I’m no good at Elizabethan talk. Heck, just give me Hamlet and I’ll make thou a sandwich… (no response)…. LOOK! If you get me that shooting star, and not any other star, I will give you my hand in marriage!” Pakistan Sharp-End-On-Stem exclaimed, “Such a simple task for your hand? You must be joking! I would bring the sun and moon, the north the south, the future, if I could ever get a full grasp on it, and you ask me for a shooting star? Oh, my fair lady, you shall have your wish! For every soft spoken word of yours is a thunderous harmonious love of mine! Your words, like feathers, should be written on every parchment in the world , if thou asks me so! Your eyes, as-“

“SHUT UP!!!”

“Fair enough. When I return, you, Miss Vicky Lakester, will have a fallen star, and I shall have you in my arms!”

And so Pakistan Sharp-End-On-Stem left the small town of Door and traveled into the mysterious land of Pixxee, where all your dreams (and nightmares) come true. There, Pakistan faced a long journey back into the town of Door with a new companion: a star. Yep, that was the big twist: the star is alive and her name is Yvet Yvane Y some weird name with a Y. I know, I’m spoiling the book for you. So sue me! Anyway, after countless hardships and several endeavors that took many, many months, Pakistan returned to the town of Door.

Pakistan slammed the door wide open. Once Vicky caught sight of him, she wished she had not eaten clam chowder earlier. It looked as if they had stuck Pakistan in a barrel of mud, a bowl of knives, a bowl of baby vomit, and then let him dry in the sun for a couple of months.

“What happened, Pakistan?!”

“Lady, I brought you your star!” From his pocket he took out a diamond in the shape of a stereotypical star. “It’s taken me months to get back! I nearly got killed by this lady in a scarlet address and was turned into a gerbil by an old geezer. I’m just GLaD that the star was an actual girl before she entered Door. For some reason she turned into a diamond star upon entering. Luckily, a walking a girl is much easier to take along than schlepping around a heavy diamond the size of my fist! You don’t know how hard it was convincing her to come into town, Vicky! I had to knock her out with a Random Plank of Woo-“

“Enough!!! Listen,” stuffing the star into her backpack, “there are a few changes. One, quit with that stupid ‘Vicky Lakester’! My real name is Brandy. That wasn’t even the girl from the book’s name! It was Victoria Forester! Two, I don’t love you, and all the stars in your pants won’t change that. Heck, I completely forgot about you for these past several months! Third, you’re an idiot. You should have stuck with the star girl, if she even existed! I bet you just made her up so you could impress me and tell all your snotty, pig faced, xenophobic friends you were with someone! Did you really think I was going to marry you?! I can’t believe you fell for it! Hahahahaha…”

She nearly choked with laughter. After a few minutes, she finally stopped and said, “Anyhoo, goodbye Pakistan. Wish me luck on my journey! By the way, I hope you die alone! Hahahaha!” Pakistan stood there as she left, catching the door on her skirt. He was unable to comprehend what had happened.

Brandy, along with a star in her pocket, went to the one place she knew she needed to go: Kokomo!